With love comes many other feelings, feelings you cannot deny, ignore, or push aside. Some of them are going to be amazing, some are going to be sad, some will make you feel things you’ve never felt before. In this case though, love comes with a sadder, much more bittersweet price.
The feeling of pain from losing the one you love, the longing ache in your chest when you can never have, or the dull, lulling pain that fills you when you understand it just can’t be. Heartbreak is an emotion we may or may not feel within our lifetime, but it is a price to pay for falling in love. You can’t deny it, or shove it aside, heartbreak is heartbreak. And it hurts.
Most of the time, we don’t even realize it until it hits us.
But lucky enough, because we are who we are, and that is awesomeness, we get over it. Humans have been adapting from the day we came to be, and we will keep doing it, and get over this bump in life.
But it doesn’t hurt to have a few steps to go along with it.
Step One: Understand the Problem a.k.a Face Reality
The first step to getting over anything is to first understand the situation and what you’re dealing with. You can’t sit there and shake your head, you have to face it. No matter how much it hurts, or how much you want to ignore it, it is there. Heartbreak is that raw, fierce pain that stabs you through the chest, that sick, terrible feeling in your gut when you curl up and want to cry. It is painful, aching, and hard. It’s that bittersweet, quiet sob that leaves your lips when you understand it just can’t be. You can’t shove it aside, you can’t pretend everything’s all right. It’s not easy, but you have to understand to get anywhere else.
Take it like a man.
Step Two: LET IT ALL OUT
Once you understand that it hurts, the next best thing is to let it all out.
Heartbreak hurts, and all we can do is let it out. Don’t hold it in, never hold it in. Holding it in doesn’t help anyone, not even you. If you don’t want to show your pain in front of others, that’s fine, but let it out, that’s one of the most important parts about it. You can’t just sit there and pretend everything is alright, because it is perfectly okay for things not to be alright. Crying is one of the best things to do. Cry, scream, kick pillows, eat food, whatever works. Just let it out. It’s okay.
Step Three: Cast Aside All Doubt
Once you’ve let it all out, now comes the time where you may find yourself thinking more rationally. And more thinking leads to you slowly wondering and beginning to doubt yourself and what has happened. You’ll end up spending wasteful hours wondering, maybe wishing, about what could have been, what might have been, and maybe what should have been. And…that’s okay. To take that moment and wonder, maybe, what if something had gone down differently? What could I have done that might have changed this? It is okay to wonder about such things here and there, that hint of nostalgia sweeping past you.
It is not okay to dwell on what if though.
If you do, you will only end up staring helplessly after them, wondering, wishing, longing, that maybe it could have been different. Perhaps it could have been, but it’s gone now, and that’s okay. Because we simply must move on.
Step Four: Comfort
Now comes the better part. The time for self pity and glorious amounts of whatever guilty pleasure will make you feel better and help you out through these perilous times. Whether it’s listening to music or eating food, make it work for you, and you’ll get better.
Good sad songs that help:
“Na na hey hey kiss him goodbye” Stream
“It’s not right, but it’s okay” Whitney Huston
“Somebody I used to Know” Goteye
“Because I’m Stupid” (read the lyrics for this one)
“Big Girls Don’t Cry” Fergie
“Lay Me Down” Sam Smith
“Teardrops on My Guitar” Taylor Swift
“Stay With Me” Sam Smith
“Enchanted” Owl City or Taylor Swift version
Step Five: Get Over It
You can do it. You’ve done all you can do, fought with all your might, and now, there is nothing holding you back. These pains will not hold you down, these worries will not burden your shoulders any longer. It’s hard, it always is, but you can do it. If you think so, then you can, and all you need to understand is that there will always be a chance for something better for you. If it didn’t work out it didn’t work out. And that means there’s something totally amazing waiting for you.
So go for it.